The Creative Instinct

Well - I outlined in the previous post how unfairly we can treat ourselves, even when we are paragons of generosity to everyone else. Now clearly that’s not a healthy way of being. In my experience, people who harbour only harsh thoughts about themselves can live lives full of spectacular inner anguish.

The most positive people beat-up on themselves on occasion; most of us fall somewhere between the two.

So the second part of Small Gifts to Yourself focuses on the gifts of mental attitude that can bring confidence, self esteem, self belief, self acceptance, recognition of abilities, and finally - a more generous attitude to your perceived flaws, weaknesses and eccentricities.

I’m not going to detail all the different types of gift you might offer yourself here. I’ll leave links at the end of the post. What I will focus on yet again, is the way the small-gift mentality acts as a motivator and catalyst in helping you act generously towards yourself.

Cultures of Negativity
This can be very difficult for some people to do. In many cultures praise is as elusive as pots of gold at the end of rainbows.  My own Yorkshire, English culture certainly falls into this bracket. Excellence was (and still is) acknowledged with grudging phrases like not bad or you did alright (I’ve not attempted to convey Yorkshire dialect). The idea of a person openly acknowledging their own abilities and talents was virtually taboo.

For any potential high achiever, the fine line between proper modesty and being regarded as an arrogant, big-headed plonker is all too easily crossed. They clearly needed knocking down a peg or two to stop them getting above themselves.

It’s no wonder that so many people feel inhibited in giving themselves credit where credit is due - even in the privacy of their own heads.

When Will My Luck Run Out?
When the censorious voice of society becomes internalised it limits our whole imagination and skews our perceptions. A world full of options and choices becomes tragically narrowed. Even when we achieve some success we are likely to offer the credit to Lady Luck or good timing. At its worse, outwardly successful people can feel criminally fraudulent. Unable to appreciate their own skill and endeavour they are continually dogged by the expectation that their luck will run out and their success will be ripped away. No fun there then.

Of course, this is just one example of how we limit ourselves. Rest assured there’s a whole bagful of other ways we can deny our potential and talk down our success.

Without doubt then, one of the biggest (small) gifts we can give ourselves is positive acknowledgement. I’m not talking about self congratulation to the point of self deception, or talking ourselves up to talk others down, or the kind of boring boastfulness that sees friend and foe alike diving for cover.

Accepting Our Talents
I mean the simple, powerful gift of acceptance of our talents, our abilities and our achievements. And that goes for our modest achievements too. So if you are starting out on a creative journey, be it dancing, art, photography, writing, music or whatever, you judge yourself from the context of where you are now. You give yourself credit for your achievements founded on what you’d expect from anyone else beginning from the same place.

Small gifts such as these accumulate into a growing sense of wellbeing, motivation and courage.

This should not mean you are blind to the differences between your own current abilities and those of a master in your art. Neither does it mean you cannot also acknowledge your own areas for improvement.

‘Weaknesses’, Courage and Kindness
In fact recognising your own weaknesses in a spirit of courage and kindness is another small but profoundly constructive gift. The courageous part will help you address and improve on your weakness. The kindness part is about much more than not beating yourself up. No blame, no self recrimination.

Faulty Assumptions
When people have developed negative thinking habits about themselves they are often at the prey of faulty negative assumptions. In art and elsewhere it’s easy to interpret a particular ‘weakness’ as broad evidence of general uselessness! When I first began writing I looked with envy at the beautifully fashioned metaphors decorating the writing of my peers. While they were finding diamonds and honing them to perfection I was stuck with bits of rock that I could never get into shape.

When you’re in a negative frame of mind such evidence morphs into proof that you are no good at the whole endeavour. No good at metaphors? Well, let’s face it I’m just useless at writing. Might as well pack it in now and save myself the trouble. Let those negative thoughts fester a while longer and before you know it you’re scraping together every failure you can remember and hey - it’s not only writing you’re no good at - you are simply no good. Period.

Does that seem crazy? Then I guess we must all be a little crazy occasionally.

Refusing to apply such a damaging train of thought is one heck of a small gift that you should never stop giving. The more positive gifts of kindness to yourself, celebration of your real abilities and a positive attitude towards improvement are even better.

The benefits in confidence and self acceptance alone will help transform your self image and boost your ability to produce better and better creative work.

A Gift for Today
So what small gift would you really thank yourself for today? It might be quite different from the examples above - maybe even some small token that you have to buy. It may be about the focus of this post - small gifts of positive mental attitude, or it may be more tangible, more practical. We’ll look further at practical small gifts in the final post of this series.

Here are a few specific areas that you could think about (not all to do with your creativity but often of indirect benefit)

• Creative skills
• Artistic materials
• Selling your work or raising your profile
• Visit a gallery or research another artist/writer, etc

• Fitness and weight loss
• Your appearance - dress better or differently, take extra care, project a different image
• Food and drink
• Learning
• Relaxation
• Travel and journeys

Give yourself just one small gift of positive mental attitude in any of these areas and you will have improved your day just a little. Of course it doesn’t have to be only one small gift. Be a devil and give yourself lots. And do it again tomorrow. Then you’ll really begin to make a difference.

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Below are some small inner gifts for yourself:
Visualise Your Creative Block or Writers’ Block
Increase your sense of wellbeing in three simple steps
Stop Worrying About Talent And Be Your Best Creative Self
Falling off the Horse