Woke Up This Morning
Published by Andrew Leigh July 14th, 2008 in Musings & Rants.| Creative Development for Artists, Writers and all Artistic Creativity |
Every now and then you get to see things from another perspective - whether you like it or not. A brief and unexceptional dream did it for me this morning.
I’m in college and walking to class when I see three guys playing football (there’s a five-a-side area directly open to the corridor, but let’s not worry about that). I’m tempted to join in. They seem a bit old for this place, and for me - sort of mature looking nineteen year olds. What are they doing here, I wonder, other than playing footy? Would they maybe welcome a seventeen year old gate-crashing their game?
Then it dawns on me I’m not seventeen - I’m actually twenty-seven. God that’s old for 
this place. Twenty-seven! That’s so… grown up.
But even as the thought sinks in I become aware of my real age, a staggeringly ancient forty-two. Somehow those footy players seem to have lost their air of maturity. In my dream I’m conscious of the yawning span of time between us. It feels achingly solid but… but… aaagh! The horror, the horror, at the dawning understanding that even forty-two is young. I’m not forty-two - I’m fifty-four.
Fifty-four? I’m fifty-four?
My god - I am fifty-four. How did this happen? I’m fifty-four.
And that’s how I woke up this fine July morning, wondering how on earth all that time had gone, and yearning for that easy, effortless power of young muscles.
Me being me I’m already turning it into a positive. I’ll take extra care to savour this day and everything about it.
No matter where you are in your life, I hope you can do the same.
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Such a sexy beast.
I’m blushing.
Impressive photo Andy ! I shall say no more.
Re. the article, I’ve lately been reminded that I’ve had an illness now for 7 years, and every time, it seems a horrifyingly long time, with not a lot of progress. It really stops me in my tracks and I cannot believe how quickly time has passed.
Then I remember an example from my training as a Life Coach. the trainer was coaching someone who wanted to study for a degree, but felt that she was “too old”, nearing the big 50. Her limiting thought was “in 3 years time by the time I’ve got my degree, I’ll be 50 !” (as if 50 is one foot in the grave !?). The coach said, “and how old will you be in 3 years time if you don’t do the degree ?”
I read about someone recently who graduated at 87. It puts things into perspective, and my very small steps towards being a painter, in response to my illness, seem worthwhile after all.
That’s a great anecdote, Victoria, and a wonderfully powerful question that puts things in perspective superbly.
Keep taking those small steps - because they’ll take you so much further than someone who can take big steps but doesn’t - and that’s an awful lot of people.