The Creative Instinct

For most of us our self limiting beliefs inhabit the shadows, exerting their stifling influence on our thoughts and actions without us ever knowing they are there. At their most powerful self limiting beliefs can stop a person achieving anything worthwhile, and even wreck the good things they’ve already gained. That’s why identifying them is so important.

Teri’s Story

Teri (I’ve changed her name and a couple of minor details to protect her identity) was fascinated by the medium of film and was particularly drawn to the idea of film script writing. It was very clear she had a lot to offer. But Teri found it impossible to contact the groups, classes and people that would have helped her develop. She simply wasn’t up to being in the company of (as she saw it) more talented and able people. And her belief was that anyone at these groups would be more talented and able than her.

The really sad thing was that you only had to talk with Teri for half an hour to see her talent and her brightness shining through. Everyone who knew her also knew her potential. I wish I could tell you that Teri’s story had a happy ending, but it didn’t. Her self limiting beliefs condemned her. They were her unchangeable truths.

Finally she gave up the struggle and began to fritter away her hours in computer chat rooms. She became increasingly bitter and resentful towards anyone who was achieving beyond her own perceived limitations – including her partner and some close friends. The results for both her creativity and her relationships were inevitable.

Now that’s an extreme but real story, which brings me to the first valuable resource for pinpointing our self limiting beliefs – our friends and loved ones.

Self Limiting Belief Identification Method 1 - Ask Someone You Respect

Your friends will know where you are holding yourself back. Some of them may have already told you. If so pause now to write down the good things they say about you that you yourself have a hard time believing. But if you don’t have a clear idea, then ask them.

When you do ask, make sure you feel relaxed about it. Going about the task in a formal and stiff way can make it seem a big step. Wait for a time that seems natural and casual. How do you bring stuff like this into a conversation? Well, you could do worse than saying you’ve been reading some blog posts about self limiting beliefs and you were wondering about your own.

You can ask your friends questions like:

• Where do you think I hold myself back?
• Which of my abilities should I be making the most of?
• What could I achieve if I really believed in myself?

Large and Vague – or Smaller and Specific

Self limiting beliefs can be large, overarching beliefs such as Teri’s story above, but they can also be small and very specific.

For example, Sunil (name changed to protect identity) is a highly creative, able and ambitious young man who was working hard to achieve his goals. He enjoyed each Friday night with the same long-standing group of friends. Sunil actually loved those Friday nights and didn’t want to give them up. But the established tradition was that each person bought a round of drinks, and that everyone had to have a drink every round. It was a big group of friends, but Sunil’s next-day hangover was getting even bigger.

The creative and business time Sunil lost to his hangover each Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) was eating away at him. He felt trapped and expressed his self limiting belief about the situation like this: ‘I have to drink the same as everyone else on Fridays.’ There were all sorts of justification he could give for this statement but the bottom line was this ‘truth’: that this was one situation that was impossible to change.

Only when he challenged the ‘truth’ and recognised it as a self limiting belief did he begin to explore the possibilities for change. Having considered many options he decided on a tactful and it’s fair to say, tentative, approach to cutting back on the sheer quantity of alcohol he drank. To his surprise several of his friends immediately followed suit. The ‘truth’ of the situation as Sunil had believed it to be, turned out to be anything but.

Self Limiting Belief Identification Method 2 – Self Perception Statements

You can do this exercise on your own – though completing the statements with a partner who’s doing it too can certainly make things easier. Just complete the sentences below with your own perceived truths. When you’ve done that you can begin to confront your limiting perceptions with the ‘challenge’ questions which you’ll find towards the end of the article.

Self Perception Statements

Complete the statements below. You can complete each statement in as many different ways as you wish. Don’t move on to the next statement until you’ve exhausted the possibilities for the current one.

• I am…
• I am not…
• I am good with…
• I am not good with…
• I will never be able to…
• I don’t deserve…
• I am held back by…
• Other people…
• Other artists/musicians/creatives…
• I always…
• I never…
• I should…
• I have to…

The next step is to identify which of your self statements limit you in some way. These are the ones we’re interested in. Pick out these statements even if you believe them to be absolutely true.

You will then have a list of your self limiting beliefs. Now at this point you might be thinking something along the lines of: “What if I have a really solid, unarguable set of circumstances that limit me?” Well, there’s no doubt that some situations are genuinely limiting – but in that case it’s often your own attitude and assumptions that are the deciding factor.

For instance, I’ve lost count of the number of successful dyslexic writers I’ve met or have heard about. And The Association of Mouth and Foot Painting Artists of the World has around 650 highly accomplished members. These creative people certainly had a genuine obstacle in there way (ie. no hands), but the positive and empowering self belief of each individual member transformed obstacle into inspiration. Let me repeat that – positive and empowering self belief transforms obstacle into inspiration.

So pick out a statement and ask yourself the challenge questions below. Take your time answering them and please don’t be afraid to inject some healthy humour into your answers. Be as creative as you like and see how many scenarios for change you can come up with, no matter how crazy and surreal.

What you are doing here is beginning to change your perceptions about your self perceptions. You are changing the way you think about yourself and your abilities.

Challenge Questions

• How true is this statement?
• Do I have to accept this?
• How can I change? Attitude? Actions?
• What can I begin to do differently?
• What’s the ‘positive opposite’ statement that I’d like to work towards?

Don’t Just Read This – Do It!

There’s a fair amount of work involved in identifying limiting beliefs, but the effort can be profoundly rewarding.

It’s now a well accepted that we can choose to change our self limiting beliefs for more life enhancing and positive ones. It’s the truth, and you’d better believe it.

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It’s also worth checking out the first two parts of this series:

Changing Your Creative Destiny - Understanding Personal Self Belief
Changing Your Creative Destiny, part 2 – Self Limiting Beliefs and Me