Falling off the Horse
Published by Andrew Leigh July 20th, 2007 in Barriers and Blocks, Musings & Rants.| Creative Development for Artists, Writers and all Artistic Creativity |
So here’s where blogging can become a wee bit circular.
Mixed Metaphor Warning
Here I am offering forth my wisdom on how to smash down those barriers of creativity only to get ambushed by one of the damn things myself. Did I say one? I mean several. I feel the need to mix my metaphors here - and, by God! I’m going to do it. You might also spot the occasional light blasphemy.
Anyhow - I was ambushed - but that’s okay. I’m wise enough not to lead my creativity into blind canyons to get wiped out by the injuns or cavalry or outlaws or whoever’s up there throwing down all the shit (go on - picture it).
But while I was fighting off the ambush I failed to notice the quicksand. Then just as I was coming out of that (and still fighting off the ambush) I got really weighed down with other stuff. Hard to describe - a brick filled duvet cover; a mattress with a sumo wrestler sitting on it - or just the sumo wrestler. I’ll be okay so long as he doesn’t… No!
I know, I don’t have to go there.
Thing is - I can now feel my creativity forcing its way to the surface again and its rawness also throws me off balance. I get moderately manic. I like it. Just don’t expect polished words.
Actually the picture I’ve painted is only a small part of the truth, because while the last month has been quietly desperate as far as writing has been concerned a lot of the things that helped knock me out of the saddle have been really good:
- My daughter Jane got married
- We had lots of visits to and from family (we have a big, lovely family)
- I’ve had a welcome and enjoyable surge of new clients for my coaching business
I wouldn’t swap any of these.
But then we can also add a month-plus illness suffered by my wife - totally fragmented sleep patterns because of it - a week long virus for myself - and a lot of paperworky-type stuff and…
…and I guess we all have times like these - often much more severe than this episode.
It’s a bit like being tossed around on stormy seas - all you can do is ride it out and wait for the calm to come back.
The Danger after the Storm
The danger after the storm is this: you’ve been so busy keeping the boat afloat that your creative projects have become all but forgotten. The main problem for me was that my ring-fenced creative time simply disappeared. When I finally had the time to reinstate it I had to battle a feeling that there were other priorities more urgently demanding my attention. And I also had to combat the fear that I’d been away too long. The blog was out of my mind. What would I write about?
Yesterday evening I made a commitment to myself: the first two hours each morning is blog time. And I wouldn’t mind when my next posting was - just being there was the key. As it happens I started writing almost immediately.
It feels important that I give myself the freedom to be a bit ragged with this one. I like to craft my writing normally, but not today. So what you are getting is pretty much stream-of-consciousness and a fine mixture of metaphors and similes that maybe reflect the recent turbulence, but was also fun to write.
Whatever - I feel better now and ready to set sail once more. If you find yourself in the same boat sometime, here’s some advice:
- Don’t beat yourself up
- Don’t call yourself bad names
- Do be patient
- Do be ready for the opportunity to get back in the saddle.
And yes - my boat does have a saddle.
Bloody well done Andy! And yes, there are occasions when the expletive is called for! I think it is the hardest thing in the world to get back in the saddle after the kind of interruptions you talk about. It is so with my writing, and with other things in my life like running. (You know, this mixed metaphor thing is fun…I am picturing myself in the saddle as I run and it adds an amusing dimension…)
And the point is to do it. I think your writing in this post is not only perfectly fine and dandy but actually benefits from the different energy that stream of consciousness brings. You craft beautifully, always, and it’s lovely to also see that you can let the words just flow where they will. The joy of creation is that it happens any which way it has to…if we let it by putting aside the fears and doubts and excuses. That’s what being a master craftsman is about isn’t it? Being brave, showing up, and constantly learning?
And since we are on the whole cowboy metaphor, here is my favourite John Wayne quote for your delictation:
“Courage is quaking in your boots - but saddling up anyway.”
Thanks Jeni. There certainly is a lot of joy in creation without fear. It’s got to be the best way to be creative: fearlessly. And that’s a mighty fine quotation too. Don’t be surprised if it finds its way to the quotation page on my coaching site.