The Creative Instinct

As a personal development professional I’m well versed in using time effectively - I’m coaching people all the time about it, and of course, effective time management is vital for me too. But you know what? Those time thieves are sneaky blighters! I have to maintain constant vigilance if I’m to get the better of them.

One thing is for sure - time thieves are a major cause of creative frustration and failure. And time theft is one of the primary reasons why so many people lose their creative and artistic dreams.

In fact now I’ve got going on this subject - it could be the primary reason.

But hang on a minute! I’m talking theft here - crime against ourselves that’s perpetrated by others. That’s a serious charge. And not entirely accurate. Sure, there are always events clamouring for attention, and people willing to use our time up in a way they’d never use their own, but what about our own responses to them? Could we also be at fault?

Below you’ll find a typical request from a time thief, though it’s worded a touch more obviously than the thief would do it. Don’t forget that although this example is from a person, events and deadlines can be at least as bad if we let them. Following the thief’s request is a list of possible responses. I’ve helpfully ranked these -in reverse order - for dramatic effect. Where appropriate I’ve added stage directions in italics.

TIME THIEF: Hey- how’s things? (doesn’t wait for response) Friend, I need your precious and valuable time more than you do. Can I just take it?

Responses:

# 5
VICTIM: (without a thought) Okay - there you go.

# 4
VICTIM: well… I was going to spend some quality time on my own stuff - but I guess it’s just not to be.

# 3
VICTIM: (THINKING - if only I were strong enough to say no, to risk disapproval - but I’m not, so…) Okay, but only if you tell me how wonderful I am for always being there.

# 2
VICTIM: (Reluctantly and for effect - a picture of Joan of Arc, or any other martyr who sacrificed themselves for the good of others, flashing satisfyingly through their mind) Oh…I suppose your need is greater than mine. And I am so selfless.

And at # 1
VICTIM: Ha! I see you for what you really are! Nothing more than a vampire who will only be happy having drained away my very life blood! Well… well… okay. Where would you like to bite? Arm? Neck? (bares neck willingly as the vampire steps in)

What’s the point I’m making here? It’s not a comfortable one to take on board - but it’s this - when it comes to time theft we are often at least as responsible as the perpetrators. We’re leaving the keys in an unlocked car, a purse on the top of our bag, or our wallet sticking temptingly out of our back pocket. It’s more like a give-away than a crime.

And it’s also possible to see that we gain some ‘benefits’ ourselves. It may be that saying yes allows us to avoid conflict - but it may also feed an insecure need for approval and respect that paradoxically loses that respect from both self and others.

So who does get respect? I’d suggest it’s the kind of person who understands the value of their own time and the value of their own pastimes - a person who will offer help when it’s really needed, or when they’d genuinely like to, but who also knows how to say no gracefully when they have other things they’d rather do.

I’ll look at some ways of achieving that in my next post:
Time Theft 2 - How to Say No Nice but Firm

What’s your experience of Time Theft? Please leave a comment.